


Alone

by orphan_account



Series: Webs of Love [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Isolation, Mental and psychological abuse, suicide ideation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-13
Updated: 2015-11-13
Packaged: 2018-05-01 10:59:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5203301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Akaashi Keiji will never be alright.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alone

**Author's Note:**

> **DO NOT** READ THIS UNTIL YOU HAVE READ "CAUGHT UP IN YOU" THIS IS A _COMPANION PIECE_.

Alone

Akaashi finds sanctuary in books during his free time at home these days, picking novels up off the bookshelf in the living room that had probably not been touched, let alone read, since they were bought. In a book he can disappear and not be himself. Not be trapped within this house after school and volleyball practice, watched like a hawk by his parents. One of them is always around these days, making sure their schedules align so Akaashi is never left alone.

But they don’t understand, he’s always alone.

Being cut off from everyone he cared about, unable to contact them—if he makes one call on his mobile, it’ll get taken away again, and he’s only just earned the right to have it back—without it all being monitored, leaves him feeling jittery, anxious. He can’t talk to Bokuto outside of school and volleyball practice, his conversations with Kageyama are done in secrecy and are always deleted—sometimes he deletes the entire thread even before he has to give the phone back. Reads Kageyama’s message and memorises it, sends a reply, and then deletes them both. If he’s caught, he’s alone again.

He hopes that if he shows he’s being good, that he won’t “veer off into the path of sin” then they’ll let his life go back to normal. Maybe they’ll go away and work themselves to the bone like they used to and pay little attention to him. It’s been months and so far it hasn’t happened. They don’t trust him.

One of the things that scares him most is that all his friends will leave him, give him up as a lost cause and go. Fears that Kageyama will grow tired of being in a relationship with someone he can never see, who can never talk to him face-to-face or even via a phone call. His parents have taken away everything from him, and they threaten to take more. If they see how much they’re hurting him, it’s obvious they don’t care. He’s not the son they want him to be and they’re determined to change him by force if necessary, to bend him to their will even if it means breaking his spine in the process.

A knock on the door startles Akaashi out of his thoughts. He drops the book and it lands with a thud on the floor.

“Time to give the phone back, Keiji,” says Okaasan tonelessly. She cracks open the door and sticks her hand through. These days she can hardly stand to look at him, like the mere sight of him will burn her eyes.

There’s no point in hiding the phone from her. He tried that once, back when his punishment first began. Tousan forced open the door, then, and wrested the phone from Akaashi by force, leaving Akaashi a sobbing mess on the floor, bleeding from the cut on his lip a sharp backhand to the face had given him.

These people are not his parents. They’re monsters hiding underneath their skin. Wolves in sheep’s clothing. They’ve always been cold, reserved people, but he never would’ve guessed what kind of people they were when they felt scorned. If they are gunpowder, then the knowledge of Akaashi’s relationship with Kageyama is the spark that sets them off, exploding and burning everything in sight. They want to ruin things they don’t agree with, burning it to unrecognisable ashes so there’s nothing left.

He longs for his eighteenth birthday. Doesn’t care if he lives on the street, he refuses to stay here a moment longer than midnight on December 5th. If Bokuto and Kuroo still like him then, maybe he’ll ask them for help. But he cannot stay here. He suffering, suffocating—dying even as he draws breath into perfectly working lungs.

What was once his home is now his prison.

“Keiji,” says Okaasan. “Last chance. Give me your phone or I’ll ring your father. Don’t make this any harder than it needs to be.”

As he hands the phone over, he whispers, “Why? Why are you doing this to me?”

It’s a question he’s asked many times, and even though he hopes for a different answer, he knows he’ll never get it.

“It’s for your own good,” she replies, as she always does. She pulls her arm from the gap and shuts the door. “One day, Keiji, you’ll look back on this and thank us.”

Akaashi cries into his hands as he sinks to the floor. None of this is for his own good. If it was, then he’d agree. Maybe even enjoy it. But he’s miserable and alone, and if he ever gets out of here he’ll likely have no one left.

He was so sure of himself when this all started—so sure that he wouldn’t break. But he feels himself caving. He wants his freedom back, his friends. Wants to be able to leave the house and go for a walk, but instead he’s ordered into the car whenever he needs to go somewhere and gets driven there and back. But even in the depths of despair, he’ll always remember the last words Kageyama texts to him before Akaashi’s curfew is set in place. The one that warms his insides and, for a little while, makes him forget.

_I love you Keiji._

And slowly but surely he’ll remember the way that Bokuto hugs him in the morning, and Kuroo and Kenma send texts wishing him a good day at school because he can never have one at home. He knows they want to try and break him free or go to the police, but he’s not being physically abused, and adults rarely ever listen to teenagers anyway. He knows there’s nothing to be done and he must be patient until his eighteenth birthday.

Four words from Kageyama reminds him that there’s still some good in the world, even if the hatred that surrounds him at home blinds him. A hug from Bokuto and well wishes from Kuroo and Kenma reminds him there’s still good people out there who care. He’ll keep holding on for them even though he wants to let go.

Why? Because he loves them. And he’s learned that if there’s one or a handful of people out in the world that love you, you should fight for them and stay alive. Bad times never last—the pain and the scars do, but the bad times will go, because they’ll help you shove back the clouds and remind you there’s always been a sun.

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to get this out as quick as possible because I wanted to show that Keiji isn't alright. At the end of Caught Up in You, it looks like he is, but he's not. He was overwhelmed by happiness at finally being able to see Kageyama again and that ended up covering the mental issues he's developed through the course of his parents' punishment for just a little while. It's going to take a long time before he's fully recovered - if ever. 
> 
> There's also going to be a sequel to Caught Up in You that'll perfectly illustrate just how damaged Keiji has become, but that won't be released until possibly end of December/sometime in January because I need to give myself a bit of a break and fixate on FOUR OTP weeks/weekends that are coming up in the next couple of months. There will, however, be weekly one-shots for this series acting as companion pieces and filling in the blanks left behind by Caught Up In You.


End file.
